Bold and in quotes: Original text of Baal HaSulam
Regular: Commentaries of Rav Laitman
lowercase italics: emphasized words
Capitalized italics: transliteration from Hebrew
We are reading from the book of Shamati, Article #122, Understanding What is Written in Shulchan Aruch.
Understand what is explained in Shulchan Aruch ( Set Table—the Jewish code of Law): the rule is that one should repeatedly reflect upon the prayers of the Terrible Days so that when prayer time comes, he will be accustomed and used to praying.
Traditionally it is seen that there is a custom before the holidays and before all the High Days that if there’s something ahead of us to execute, we first turn to the books and study those traditions in order to do it later on. The book where all the customs are specified is called Shulchan Aruch ( Set Table). Therefore, when the Days of Repentance (in Hebrew, the translation is the Terrible Days) are coming, we then have to check ourselves to see whether we are prepared for these days. Why are they called Days of Repentance? Because a person has to judge himself, "Who am I? What am I? What is the purpose of my life?" and then pass judgment on it.
The beginning of each and every year, meaning each and every change that a person goes through starts by a person first studying about the Thought of Creation, the purpose of creation from Above, called Rosh Hashanah (The Head of the Year). Then he turns to judge oneself, which is called Day of Atonement ( Yom Kippurim).
Once a person decides how to correct oneself, whether he needs to do so, to reach equivalence, unity, and adhesion with the Upper Force, he is then ready to receive the corrections from Above, which are called Days of Sukkoth. Thus he reaches Simchat Torah (The Day of Joy of the Torah) where he decides completely in all these High Days that that’s how he will go through the year. Then he will realize it during the year itself.
Before Rosh Hashanah (Head of the Year) he has to check himself versus all his previous deeds. And surely, if he still is in an uncorrected form, less than Gmar Tikkun (Final Correction), then he has what to inspect, what to feel sorry for—for the lack of corrections—and prepare himself for Rosh Hashanah (Head of the Year).
In the wisdom of Kabbalah we do not talk about those deeds performed routinely, or what is or is not accomplished in the nation of Israel. Rather we’re talking about the internal actions where a person, as much as he can according to the goal of creation, judges himself or checks himself in his thoughts, in his desires, why he is alive and to what extent the Creator created him in order to be alive; to what extent his actual life, and his life in the eyes of the Upper World equalize, in their context, in the process and in the goal. All of that we are discussing during Rosh Hashanah.
The thing is that the prayer should be in the heart. This is the meaning of the work in the heart...
This means that what a person says verbally doesn’t count. It’s like a tape recorder. Upon activation, it will spell out what was previously recorded. The same happens with a person if the prayer does not come from the heart, from the desire. That desire has to be clarified to the degree that it's revealed in a person, and then it is called that the prayer is a work of the heart.
It does not matter whether he’s silent while the heart is talking, or he’s yelling together with the heart. This will depend on his temperament, his bestial character. There's some who dance and jump around and some who sit silently. This relates to the external expression, which has nothing to do with the internal sensation in the heart.
Within the heart some people may feel big sensations, some would feel small sensations, it is relative to the person. So again, all is measured and checked only according to person’s internal Kli (vessel). Therefore, this whole work is called internal work.
…that the heart will agree to what one says with one’s mouth.
This means that verbally a person says what is written in the book of prayer Sidur or Machzor, Mahzor being the special Sidurs for the High Days. Both Sidur and Machzor are written by the great Kabbalists, people of the Great Assembly who were all in a very high spiritual level. It was during the Temple’s existence and the nation in its majority was on a spiritual level.
Then inside the nation were many Kabbalists, the special among them were in Jerusalem in the Assembly ( Knesset). The Kabbalists were known as the people of the Great Assembly, 'great' because of the level of greatness in their attainment. They were the ones to write prayer book, i.e. what a person who’s corrected feels in his heart during his turning to the Upper Force. The Kabbalists wrote the prayer in such a way that in the same Sidur (prayer book), in the same words that everyone is reading, every one feels according to his degree, what he is able to according to the level he’s at.
Take, for example Tehillim (Psalms) of King David, the most common book of the Bible in the world. Everyone reads it. Everyone will feel his own, unique sensation. The same is with the prayer. It means that the prayer that they wrote is an example for each and everyone, how they grasp it and how they should feel it in their hearts.
Accordingly, he who says in his mouth whatever is written there, it doesn’t mean that he’s praying, for praying is the work of the heart. And this is what we have to reach in those High Days, special days, which actually is each and every day, each and every moment.
But Baal HaSulam explains this in relation to Rosh Hashanah, and also in relation to the external expressions that we execute. Why? Because in our world there are also special, general times that incorporate all the souls that are in the body of Adam ha Rishon (the First Man) in the Guf (body) that has some cyclical waves in which there are times that are more favorable and less favorable for connection with the Upper Force. Therefore, the times that are more suitable we call High Days where there is general awakening out of it for all the common people and all the souls. They awaken and call it holidays.
With regard to internal work there’s no relation. A person can be in a state like Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippurim or in Pesach or in any other in the middle of the month. Rather in a relation to the general influence, the General Providence, these changes are appearing in the nation.
…that the heart will agree to what one says with one’s mouth (otherwise, it is deceit, that is, one’s mouth and heart are not the same).
Who is he cheating? Himself, for he can’t cheat the Creator. Rather this lie seals his eyes, he becomes as blind and he can’t see his own state, it prevents him from advancing to the goal, to the purpose of his life. He lives in an illusion. That’s how he ends his life. It means that the right test, even though it’s unpleasant, is the base by which you build the next state.
Hence, on the month of Elul one should accustom oneself to the great work.
And the most important thing is that one can say “write us to life.”
It means that after all the tests, whether he wants or not, whether he understands or not, finds himself guilty or not, he reaches to the calculation of “write us for life.” He wants to reach spiritual life, to the form of existence in which the Creator is at.
This means that when one says “write us to life,” the heart, too, should agree (so it will not be as flattery) that one’s mouth and heart will be the same, “for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”
We see by our eyes and the Creator sees according to our heart, meaning our desires, to what degree we are in equivalence with the Light or not. That’s what determines the state.
Therefore, aside from working on the heart, we need to work on the ability to test ourselves. And this clarification that a person has to do is very important. [It's very important] not to be “as if myself and my nation were sold,” not to sell oneself to the egoistic desires, for those egoistic fulfillments. Rather to understand, in spite the fact that we cannot separate ourselves from them, their positioning vis-à-vis the truth.
This brings a person specifically to the correct measurement, the gap between his weaknesses, his leaning toward pleasures, and sees the goal as true, though he is not agreeing with it. That brings him to screaming “Write us for life!” Because if he agrees, he has no prayer, “to write us for life.” His desire's already prepared. But rather we talk about people who find in themselves the lack of ability, the lack of strength, lack of a desire, lack of preparation, that they have something to turn to.
Therefore, there’s no concern that I don’t have the strength, “not by my own strength and my own hands did I accomplish that,” that person has no ability to correct himself. Rather he has to reveal to be like Gibor (strong), to discover the entire ego within himself, to what degree he is in opposite form from the Light and over that to request.
Our problem is that we escape from the determination of the truth because it’s very, very unpleasant to feel ourselves in the true form. The sensation is a terrible sensation. And over that, these days are called “Terrible days.” “Terrible,” is for those who truly want to reach the goal and feel to what degree they are not in it. So, they’re on a correct basis in order to later reach for correction.
Accordingly, when one cries, “write us to life ,” “life” means adhesion with the Life of Lives, which is by that specifically, when one wants to work entirely in the form of bestowal, and that all of one’s thoughts for self-gratification will be revoked.
Chaim (life) is called the Light, eternity and wholeness, the quality of bestowal, which has no defect in it, it is all complete with no desire for receiving revealed in it. Therefore, it is said that the Creator is in the Life of the Living. It means that execution (implementation) of the Upper Force is called life. All the degrees are less than that is death.
Thus we are called, “wicked in their lives are called dead.” Our life is not the true existence that is called Chaim (life) in its Kabbalistic meaning. And he who acquires the quality of bestowal, or is about to acquire it, wants it to happen to him, he is called that he wants to adhere to the Life of the Living.
Our sensation is only within the desire to receive. The Terrible Days so to speak, are called terrible for one who tastes the Light at least slightly, and senses himself versus the Light, against it, in its opposite form. Then out of the gap between himself and the Light, he determines that he is dead and he wants to adhere in the Life of the Living. Therefore, his states are called terrible ones according to the determination of the state vis-à-vis the bestowal as life, versus his egoistic state as death. Upon being able to determine this, a person is said to be in the “Days of Forgiveness.”
Then, when one feels what he is saying, his heart can fear lest his prayer will be accepted…
It means that a person is in a very delicate state. On one hand he is corrupted and understands that he does not desire the correction. On the other, he very much would like to be in that correction. How can this be? What is it? Is it a kind of internal lie, crying superficial tears or is he in some flattering state towards the Creator that “Yes, I want it, help me.” Rather, because ( Slichot) come from the previous state when he’s investing himself in the studying, drawing enough of the correcting Light, now, during the study, he can measure himself slightly in relation to the Light that illuminates to him. And then he is in differentiation, he is in “I’ve labored and I found.”
On the one hand he is laboring and wants the goal according to the point in his heart that revealed opposite the Light, that is the beginning of his soul. And on the other, he doesn’t want the goal and he is afraid that he would be disconnected from his ego and would lose all his bestial pleasures. What would he be left with? He hasn’t felt anything yet in this point that is in his heart, Ahoraim of Nefesh of Kedusha (Holiness) that is now growing within him. He still hasn’t felt any reality in it, any livelihood.
Then it turns out that on the side of the corporeal, earthly Kelim (vessels), he feels at least to be in some sensation of livelihood of pleasures. But he determines that this is “dead” out of his point in the heart in which he feels that he’s in front of something great but still there’s no internal Light dressing this point. That point still hasn’t evolved to the level of the small first Partzuf, the ten Sefirot of Ubar (fetus),at least. Then he finds out that he is actually asking for help with regard to this degree. This is called forgiveness.
Why forgiveness? Specifically, he finds out that deep down in his desire to receive, he’s afraid that maybe the Creator would hear the prayer and help him enter spirituality. In the mean time, his desire to receive, his only vessel, is feeling some pleasure, some livelihood but also the desire is afraid. It seems that he is losing his life, his world, his family, everything.
…that is, that he will have no desire whatsoever for himself.
And concerning self-gratification, there appears a state where it seems that one leaves all the pleasures of this world, all the people, friends, his kin, all his possessions, and retires to the desert where there is nothing but wild beasts...
Meantime, this is what is revealed to him because the point in the heart, Kedusha is still in darkness. There is some Ohr Makif (Surrounding Light) illuminating it, but inside there’s no Orh Pnimi Internal Light. Thus, that is what it seems to a person: here at least I have something, greater pleasures, less pleasures.
Indeed, this desire to receive fulfills him while what bitters his life is his point in the heart. We see in our world now, there is nothing lacking. There is food, drink, somewhere to sleep, clothing, even traveling, and having a good time. In corporeality there's plentitude. What’s giving us a hard time is our point in the heart that starts to be revealed inside a person.
Therefore, what did Pharaoh say to Moshe and Aaron? “Why disturb the crowd here to live properly? Let them work and receive out of their desire everything that they deserve and all will be fine.” Pharaoh (our ego) is saying to that point in the heart (Moses and Aaron), “What for is this point revealed? Why can’t we have a good life?”
Rather, the process has to be about that purpose of creation, Thought of Creation. That's why the point in the heart is revealed and it's the one that’s toughening up our life. Therefore, when a person feels this way, he reaches Slichot (asking for forgiveness).
In other words Slichot is not for the ego. There is no Slichot to perform on the ego. “How does it seem in this world in relation to others? I was born in such form. Why do I have to ask for forgiveness? Go to the artist who made me, I wasn’t the one to create me as such.” Rather, when a person clarifies himself in relation to the desire to bestow that’s revealed in him as a point in the heart. Between these two desires that a person has, the egoistic that is called ‘body,’ and the point in the heart that is this beginning of the soul, a person then starts to have the discernment that brings him to repentance.
…without anyone knowing of him and of his existence. It seems to him as though he loses his world all at once, and feels that he is losing a world filled with liveliness, and takes upon himself death from this world. He feels as though he is committing suicide, when he experiences this image.
Sometimes, the Sitra Achra helps him picture his state with all the dark colors.
By saying “Helps him picture his state,” Baal HaSulam brings in the point that all the egoistic desires get revealed for our own benefit. “One versus the other the Creator created” as it is written, “The Pharaoh brings the people of Israel closer to our Father in the heaven.” Specifically, this egoistic form, these Klipot (shells) reveal in us in such form that from within them we feel them, we sense them, we see them in the opposite sense. And then we reveal holiness as an advantage of the Light out of the darkness. And all the shades within the Light we can reveal only out of the shades within the darkness.
Then the body repels this prayer, and in such a state, one’s prayer cannot be accepted, since he himself does not want his prayer to be accepted.
For this reason there must be preparation for the prayer, to accustom oneself to the prayer, as though his mouth and heart are equal.
“As though” meaning that after a person feels that he does not wish the correction to happen to him, he has to reach the next state as though he’s already corrected. “We’re playing as if we received revelation.” A habit becomes second nature, and by acting so, we're advancing ourselves so that it will happen. How can it be? It’s a game. I do not want it. After revealing the next degree, I find that I do not want it; I act as if I am already corrected. By acting so, the Light called the Light that Reforms, acts on me, and will then truly bring me into the corrected desire.
Tell me how else can you raise from one degree to another? It’s impossible. There’s no other way to reveal the next degree if not through the form of a game, where it is as though we are in equivalence, in desires, as if we’re already there. “We're already there,” it is called to be in the same desire as the one that is there.
So, I have to understand that I am not in the same desire and I’m acting in whatever I can, on that it is written, “Whatever is in your hands do,” as though I’m in it. Then by this “as though,” I am bringing the action of the Light the Reforms. It brings me through the Machsom (barrier), to a new world, each time through a new Machsom to a new degree. Every degree it’s like jumping to a new world.
Question: Is it cheating when my mouth and heart are not equal? Is this a contradiction?
No, it is not cheating. I am not cheating myself. It was written there that one can cheat oneself and not feel what is in one’s heart, but read what's in the prayer book and cry. Today there is a product that will induce tears, so you can use it and cry your heart out. A person has to understand from what he awakens.
While traveling to America, Rabash visited his friend, who worked as a Rav in a Synagogue. He had a big family, a lot of children and everything. The Synagogue was not orthodox, so most of the people only attended on the ‘Day of Atonement.’ The American Rav said, “This year I’m going to Israel even if they kick me out of work. I have to pray in the Quarter at the Western Wall.”
Rabash said, “But they will dismiss you since you are needed during that time of the year.”They are not people who come to Rav to ask questions and all that. [They come to a synagogue] if someone is born or dies, and the Day of Atonement, that’s it. So the American Rav said, “No, I have to, otherwise, I am not impressed, I don’t have the tears.” And Rabash answered, “You go to the lady’s section on the Day of Repentance and see how they cry and you’ll cry as well.” The American Rav was lacking what to cry for. So he was looking where he can awaken: near the Western Wall where the whole nation is crying. This is called cheating when he’s cheating himself.
And here, we have to be very careful. I am talking about us not about this Rav that belongs to the common people. I am talking about an obligation here for the person who is in the process, the personal process, to check thoroughly how the heart is being impressed. If my heart is impressed because I hear a cantor on the radio crying (he is being well paid, so he is crying), then I'm impressed by his impression of the salary, and because of that I'm crying, and I call it the ‘Day of Atonement.’
We have to discern precisely what a person is impressed by, and that this emotion or these tears—since we’re talking about tears, about the Terrible Days—it’s not because now one saw some terrible movie. Rather it’s truly because of one’s attainment, realization of what’s between him and the Goal.
This is a true problem, to clear ourselves from external influences and to be a hero so as to feel in our heart these terrible states that are related to us, truly to us. It’s not that some street musicians is playing some sad melody.
Question: When you said to play…
A game is when you know that you’re in the game and something small is still lacking, one small thing on which you’re not the landlord.
I’m in the low degree, I’m an egoist, I’m incapable of raising myself. I don’t even want to grow up by myself.” But alongside all this I raised the importance of the goal, of that point of Keter, which is very important, opposite the Malchut in which I am at with the darkness and the desire to receive. From where do I perform this game? It's because I have a heart and the point in the heart. My egoistic heart does not wish it, it is afraid to lose something. Even if you say that there is something ready, I don’t believe it. But the point in the heart does want.
We’re talking about people with the point in the heart that have an additional Kli. Then there is a splitting: in one vessel I am on a certain degree and I don’t want to leave it. On the other hand, in the other vessel I’m as if on the next degree, “ as though” I am in it. Then with this “as though” when there is a true sensation and a true measurement of where I am, as it is written, “I’ve labored and I found;” where I’m not doing this switch, I’m not passing myself to the Upper Degree, I’m incapable of it, but out of the laboring, the Light is working on me. That’s why it’s called the Light that Reforms.
Therefore, the Torah was given only to those who wished to advance in such a way, because the Torah is only when the Light in it Reforms. And this is when? It is only if a person wants to do this. Otherwise, it isn't called that he studies Torah.
As Baal HaSulam explains in the Introduction to the Study to the Ten Sefirot, there is the Torah of life and Torah of death, potion of life and potion of death in the Torah. Why? It depends on the person: if he wants to use it in his egoistic form, for his heart, then it becomes the potion of death. If he wants to use it for his point in the heart, to increase it and to build the soul out of it, that is called that it brings him the potion of life.
Then you’re in a split, you accept it and out of that you turn. Otherwise, how can you build your request? Specifically out of this split, when you won’t want in this Kli and that you do want in the other Kli in which you already have some part from Godliness, relative to which you are in the opposite state. Then, there is a request.
And it isn’t called ‘cheating.’ You understand all the qualities and all the relations between them of what’s in you. It has to be clarified to the end. It’s completely clear to you what the Creator has to do, you just don’t know how He does it; you don’t know what will come out of it. Here is the hidden. And what is hidden, is what you attain.
It is called that you attain a bit out of the Rosh (the head) of the Creator, of the Thought of Creation. This is the part that's called Adam (Man). Every time you attain a bit of this part, of what He adds to you, in “When I labored and I found.” That's called attainment of the Thought of Creation.
And the heart can come to agree through accustoming, so it would understand that reception means separation, and that the most important is the adhesion with the Life of Lives, which is bestowal.
One must always delve in the work of Malchut, called “writing,” considered “ink” and Shacharit (blackness). This means that one should want one’s work to be in the form of “Libni and Shimei,” [1] that only at the time of whiteness does he adhere to the Torah and Mitzvot, but unconditionally. Whether in white or in black, it will always be the same for him, and that come-what-may, he will always adhere to the commandments of the Torah and Mitzvot.
Question: We say a game in a positive sense. On the one hand, we want to hate our desire to receive. So, what game do we play? Is it one time this way and another time that way?
A game means that I know that I am in a lie and I play as if I am in the truth. What is the actor in the theater doing? He is now in a play. Is it true or false? He knows that he is in a lie and he plays true things. Inside, he is one and on the outside he is another thing. He knows it clearly. This is a game.
So depict to yourself your internal state, what are you, who are you, with all the inclinations and preparations and the discernments, and clarifications—everything is clear to you. Depict also the next state: how do you imagine yourself in unification with the Thought of Creation, with the Upper Force, resembling the Light etc.? Then you will see these two characters.
Do you wish to be in the more advanced character or not? Are you ready to be in it? If you are ready to be in it, play it, act it. Truly play it. This is what you’re able to do; this is what you are capable of. Do it.
What will turn out of this? They say that the Light that comes, reforms. It's because you want it, in spite of the fact that you understand that inside you’re not it and you don’t want it; you’re incapable of wanting it. The fact is that you don’t want was given to you by the Creator. The fact that you don’t want spirituality, that state was created by the Creator. But the fact that you wish spirituality in spite of it all, is something that was attained by you, by your exertion.
So, there is this game. It’s more correct to say the struggle between you and the Creator. Therefore, it’s written, “My sons have beaten me.” The Creator puts obstacles for you to fail and for you to compel Him in spite of it, to correct you. This is a multisided game. It could be depicted in a lot of manners. But it’s a game because I imagine myself in a state, I engage in it as if I’m found in it and by this, I truly compel it to happen to me.
It comes from the nature of the degrees that are arranged in such a way from up downwards, that I can do that. And it truly happens. This is a law. You may cry to the Creator or not. All the manner of screaming is an internal cry. Because the Light is in total rest and all the levels are like a ranking of that constant Force upon you. When you change your state, it works more upon you. When doing the contrary, it works less upon you. In it there is no change. You call the measure of its effect upon you.
Therefore, all the prayers, all the approaches, all the yells and cries, it all happens within the man, inside. He measures himself inside and accordingly, he says, “Now, I’m yelling, now I’m laughing, now I’m screaming, now I’m in a game, now I’m demanding.” It all is only you with respect to the Light. On His side, this is the law of nature.
Baal HaSulam explains this to us in the article of The Peace. The Creator ( Elokim) in Gimatria is nature ( Teva) and does not change. You’re the only one that changes. All the requests for forgiveness, all the prayers and all the requests are with respect to you. The Creator eventually is the attribute of bestowal that we discover inside us. It is not something outside of us. The state of mine that is corrected to the fullest is the description of the Creator for me, and nothing else. How could it be something else? Outside of my vessel I feel nothing.
Therefore we need to understand that all the prayers in the Terrible Days etc., is just a person within himself.
Question: How can I depict the new state more correctly? Where can I see some examples?
There are no examples but from within a person. To depict correctly the new state, is to be more altruistic, more bestowing with respect to the group only. Here, we are in the true state in which we can measure where we are found, as said, “from the love of the creatures to the love of the Creator.” In “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” you reach the corrected vessel, which is called the great law in the Torah. That is, you reach the Light that will fulfill the vessel with respect to the equivalence with it.
Question: Our state in which we truly feel the fear from death in this world is a very true state for us because we know it out of our will to receive and with respect to something that is imaginary for us, which is bestowal. Still I don’t understand how do I truly nullify this fear and will it be real?
A man that reaches a point where he feels his life is worthless, a disappointment and he asks, “What is the point in my life?” Then he receives from the inside some direction to find the taste in life. That direction is toward something that is unknown to him, something that is spiritual. Who knows what is spiritual? He starts to evolve, looks for a place in order to receive information of how to find what he thinks he needs, he reaches the group. I am talking about people who truly asked “What is the point in my life?” and received an awakening, a point in the heart and out of it they evolve. They reach to be in a group, near the correct books and they are taught how to turn to the group and to the books.
The correction is in the relation to man towards his friends. They are called his neighbors. They have the same goal like him and then in a mutual way they can help each other to correct oneself, each one by the Light that Reforms. That is, I’m with the group, I need to reach love for the others. Of course I don’t want it. But this is actually the clear and accurate picture in front of me, of where I am.
And in order to correct myself, I don’t need any torments, but only the Upper Light. I draw it, and it corrects me. Suddenly I start to love others. I am told this is a good sign. Why shouldn’t this be so? Out of this the man starts correction.
Of course, a person doesn’t want to and has all kinds of problems along the way. But whether in good or bad—and it happens both ways, which is called the way of Eretz (Land); it's not the way of suffering and not the way of Torah but in the middle—he advances. It takes years. He starts to understand more and more that he truly has to correct his nature. Even though along with it, it seems to him that he loses everything from the world, but the Light that operates on him during the study and accumulates upon him, prepares him correctly.
We cannot measure here, but in each and every moment we are in our corrected forms, in the correct advancement. Because the Light, even though you didn’t act correctly, correspondingly gives you such a feeling that you suffer more. And this is how you do a correction of your direction. Out of the correction you again… In short, do whatever you can inside the framework that was given to you, which are the group and the study with the intention to draw the Light. All the rest will happen.
It cannot be explained more than that and even this cannot be explained. The point in the heart pulls a person; it guides him, accompanies him, advances him.
Question: Baal HaSulam uses here the expression “he should do a habit of a prayer.” Is habit and a game the same thing or is there a difference between them?
No, a game is determining one’s internal states with respect to the goal and how he is found in it but not truly in it, but wants it. I’m in my present desire, and I want to be in the next desire. How could it be that I’m in one desire and I want to be in a second desire? For instance now, I want water. No, I want to have a desire for wine. Well, there’s no such thing that I want it to be. And this is called the game.
Regarding the habit, there is no habit here. We studied it with you and we spoke about it today. Each state is a state in itself. When the state changes—and each time the will to receive is new—I am in a new state. What do you mean a habit? When I was in a thousand states before, does it affect me now in state number one thousand and two? Of course not.
What is the habit? A habit can be for the body, because it’s a machine that does not change and I made myself accustomed to my bed, to my table, to my chair, to my environment. This is called a habit. Besides nature, the preliminary nature that I received from childhood, there are more habits which I acquire throughout my life from the environment. They become as second nature that is in addition to the first nature.
But in determining my state from the present state to the next one, the habit will not help me at all. I cannot rely on the fact that I am used to playing in the previous state, so now I will also play and this will turn out right. “The righteousness of the righteous will not help him in the day of his transgression.”
You were a righteous in the previous level which you truly reach through the game. But now, a new bigger will to receive was added to you, which erases all of your righteousness from before. It will not help you now. Now you fall like Rabbi Shimon to “Shimon from the market.” And no previous habit will help you. Otherwise, what is the effectiveness of all the ascents and descents? Are you like a beast working out of habit?
Rather, each and every time the states will be as new to you. You work once more as if you had nothing, the vessel is totally empty. Because everything is renewed, all the ten Sefirot are new. Everything is anew as though you never had anything before. Up to such extent you’re in a detachment from the previous state and you’re even worse and more wicked than what you were before.
You’re falling to a greater minus in order to ascent to a greater plus. But while you are in between you are in the situations, emotions, evil inclination, all kinds of lusts that are much greater than in the previous state. So can a habit help here? That’s on the one hand.
On the other, it’s written, “The Mitzvah (precept) can help you and protect you while you engage in it;” “The Torah helps you and protects you when you engage in it and when you don’t.” It means there’s something that is called Torah, which holds me even though I’m not in the true state. Mitzvah means that I have attained some kind of Light by my equivalence with the Light and I grasped it, there is Zivug de Hakaa (mating while striking), the determination of the state.
Torah means that even I don’t have such a thing, still I have an illumination and that illumination holds me. But once more, it holds me throughout the entire way except during the fall to the new desire. There, everything disappears. Otherwise it does not mean that you receive a new level.
[1] Libni also means whiteness