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Michael Laitman, PhD

Sharing the Spiritual Work With Friends

Q: The other day I felt bad for no apparent reason. Prayer helped for only five minutes. I shared my pain with my friend and everything was okay, but the next morning I felt that he was in torment. Perhaps I should have suffered alone?

A: You should never share you inner sensations and emotions with anyone except the Creator and your rabbi. That is because other people are not higher Partzufim (spiritual entities) than you, and do not lead you. Therefore, even unintentionally, they will project their egos onto you, and you will lose your mental strength for some time.

Although you might feel temporary relief, you will temporarily lose the ability to climb to a higher degree when you share your feelings.

Q: I quote from one of your books: “It is forbidden to discuss inner situations with friends, because it can harm both you and your friend.” I remember your saying it can harm me, but what can it do to my friend?

A: The danger is that you impose your feelings on your friend. These include your internal impressions with spirituality and your relationship with the Creator. These are all things that your friend must acquire independently from the Creator and from the books.

Q: I still want to understand what I can and what I cannot tell my friends. The more I try to understand it, the greater is the disorder in my head. It seems that anything a person says contains some portion of emotion toward the Creator. Even if two people speak of the text, they both have thoughts that are similar and that they understand. So how can people who study together be close to one another?

A: It is a very natural thing for us to speak only from ourselves, and in our words, we always include our egos. It doesn’t matter if the ego is concealed or revealed - the most important thing is not to talk about spiritual feelings toward the Creator.

You can talk about Sefirot, Partzufim and about the wisdom of Kabbalah indefinitely, just don’t show your feelings, because in doing so, you harm both you and your friend. The same applies for your spouse, children and even complete strangers. Study the books, but never talk about your feelings.

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