Method to a Choice
Q: You say that there is a law that rules nature and man harshly, and that the Source of that law is a mighty Force called the Creator. In difficult moments I turn to Him, but I feel that if I want to change something in my life, it means that I disagree with His Actions, that I am not grateful to Him. What is the actual cry of the soul, the one the Creator listens to and answers?
A: You’re right. The one law of creation is what we call “the Creator.” Unlike ordinary scientists, Kabbalists feel that which we cannot, and study the system of creation, having developed an extra sense. That is why they can also tell that the Force that leads everything is rich with emotions, and not that nature is indifferent, as it sometimes appears to us.
But that power has an unchanging aim: to bring the entire system of creation to perfection. As a result, He acts on anything that is not in that state of perfection, and pushes it toward perfection. That process works equally on all parts of creation, and we feel it as pain and agony.
One can compare this to the pressure that parents put on their child out of the sheer desire for the happiness of the child. But while still growing and developing, the child feels their pressure as pain. As soon as the child attains the proper attributes, the pressure disappears, and the child is happy and grateful.
From His Perspective, everything in reality is already as perfect as can be. Yet, as long as we are not perfect, His Guidance cannot be felt as perfect. The Creator formed our initial corrupted situation deliberately, so as to give us a chance to choose perfection as something desirable and attain it by ourselves. How? Through the method called “the wisdom of Kabbalah.”
Nature did not grant us the power to change ourselves. That is why we need not ask Him to change His Guidance, but to change us, so that we can feel His Perfect Guidance. The only form of progress that exists is in turning to the Upper Force for help. When we turn to this Force, we do not break His Law. On the contrary, we perform the one action we can perform.
But the cry must come out of a clear awareness of what it is we’re asking for – is it for myself, in order to satisfy my desires in this world, or is it a cry for spiritual ascent? We now pray to Him because we feel bad, out of an egoistic motivation, and wish to feel good.
To answer your question: Do you condemn His Complete Guidance by that cry? Of course you do!
But the question is, what does your heart feel? It doesn’t matter if you cry or scream or stay silent. The Creator feels what’s in the heart long before we do. When we ask to change us not because we feel bad, but because we suffer from cursing the Creator in our hearts, that is already a request that is not self-oriented, “for me,” but is a true prayer for Him. To such a request the Creator responds at once! After that you can begin to look at a prayer book…