To my soul mate
…You implied to me in your last letter, that I hide my face from you and consider you an enemy, you mean, as though hearing one’s disgrace and keeping still, and that I do not carry the load with my friends and do not care for my friends’ pains. I admit that you are right. I do not feel these pains that you feel whatsoever. On the contrary, I am happy and rejoice in these apparent and appearing impairments.
However, I do indeed regret and complain about the impairments that are still covered, and are destined to be uncovered, for a covered corruption is in no hope and its manifestation is deemed a great salvation from above.
This is the rule: One does not give that which he does not have. Hence, if it appeared now, there is no doubt that it was there to begin with though it was concealed. Hence, I am glad when they come out of their holes for when you rest your eye on them they become a pile of bones. Thus, I do not rest even for a minute, for I know that many more are with us than with them.
However, idleness prolongs time, and these contemptible ants are hidden; even their place is unknown. The sage says about that: “The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.” Moses put down his hands, but when Moses lifts up his hands of faith, everything that should appear manifests instantly, and then Israel overpowers every strong hand and great terror etc.
This is the meaning of, “Whatsoever thy hand attaineth to do by thy strength, that do.” When their cup is filled, the text, “the wicked are overthrown” comes true. When the wicked are lost, light and joy come to the world, and then “they are not.”
I remember having spoken of these matters with you on the New Year festival, 1920, when we returned from the house of A.M. You told me very saddening things that you saw that morning during service. I was filled with delight before you and you asked: “Why this joy?” I also told you that when buried evil are uncovered, though not altogether conquered, their very appearance is considered a great salvation, and causes a day to be holy.
Regarding what you wrote to me, that you cannot prefer the son of the loved one to the son of the hated one, the elder, I have often spoken to you about that face to face. The place of faith is called Bor (hole); the fulfillment of the faith is called Be’er (well) of living water, and in short, “Life”.
In other words, it is not like the nature of ordinary water, where if some is missing, the well still stands. In fact, this well has the nature of an animal. Moreover, all its parts are parts that the soul depends on. Puncture them even a bit and the entire animate level dies and vanishes. This is the meaning of, “They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.”
Although the water is not lacking, there is a drawback in the Bor for it is completely broken, and certainly cannot hold the water in it. This is what the prophet implies in the name of God, and this is true Kabbalah for any wise and understanding in his own mind. If you do not understand, go and study. Then, you too will be wise and understanding in your own mind.
You wrote at the end of your letter, that you would like me to sound my pleasant voice to you, as it is no effort for me to please any bitter soul from its hardships, for a heart filled with love sweetens them in their roots, the root of all pleasantness.
I will briefly reply to you that there is a right time for everything. You evidently see that in my first letter, I wrote you a nice thing for its time, pleasing the heart of man and God. It explains the true meaning of “they will be satisfied and delighted by your Goodness,” for it is true, and is pleasant to any palate seeking truthful words.
You see how I can try and delight you with words of truth at this time, but never with a false word, like the false prophets, at the time of the ruin. I do not sin, for there is no falsehood in my premises at all.
You already know what I say regarding those who bring their disciples to the truth with ties of falsehood and a web of lies or luxuries. I have never been defiled by their abomination, and in these is no part of Jacob. Hence, all my words are said in truth, and where a word of truth cannot be told, I keep entirely still.
You should not even consider that if I were near you, I would say more than on paper. If I had known this to be true, I would not have gone away from you at all. It is utterly true, what I have told you, that, “according to our preparation, you do not need me.” This is the truth, and you should not suspect that I have fabricated fantasies for my own pleasure.
When God helps reach the end of correction, then you will need me very much, and may it be that we shall come to that within twelve months, for the day is long, and you are not as quick as me. Still, I hope that within twelve months from this day forth, you shall finish the job, and then you will see with all your efforts that we shall be together for some years, for main profoundness of the work begins at its end.
I have written to you all that because of some thoughts that I sensed between the lines of your letters, for you have forgotten the pure truth that is always in my heart and mouth. I promise you, that more than you have witnessed the truth in my words thus far, you will evidently see that all my words exist and live forever, unchanged even as hair’s breadth. Also, all the words I write to you bear a true, unchangeable meaning, but require close attention for the time is a time to be brief.
Believe me, that I could not write to you thus far the revealed words in my letter, for reasons I keep secret. My eyes are guided by the purpose of producing only the best results, and this is what encircles me with a fence of careful watch over every single word. I know that in time you will understand my words and conducts toward you, as it is written, “Happy are you vessels that enter impure and exit pure,” for this is the path of Torah.
I have grown weary requesting you to write me more, and promising you that I will write many more letters to you in return. Every single day I sit and wait, perhaps a word of you will come to me, from your spiritual life, or from your corporeal life, but there is no sound of you.
What will you answer to that and how will you justify? “It is not the voice of them that shout for mastery, neither is it the voice of them that cry for being overcome.” It is merely a voice of dry words in florid style, seemingly too troubled. Yet, you will probably not even understand yourself.
…However, I am certain that times will get better. As they get better, so will their open love increase, and we shall rejoice in love together always as a never-ending fountain, satiated and delighted together, for the pleasantness of the Lord is for the wholesome receiver. He feels no satiation, hence he is named almighty. The old light and the new light appears in one unity to those who do His will, and this is acquired by keeping Shabbat and Shmitah.
This is the meaning of, “And they laid it up till the morning etc. and it did not rot, neither was there any worm therein.” And it is written, “They will be satisfied and delighted by your Goodness,” since in corporeal eating, the stomach is filled in a corporeal measure. Moreover, it raises smoke to the brain from the cooking in the stomach, and one is tired and he falls asleep.
This is the meaning of Phinehas stabbing the spear into her belly when they were unified, “and Phinehas stood and prayed and the plague was stayed.” That is why he was crowned although he was not from the sons of Aaron. Moses himself told him: “I give unto him My covenant of peace.” In the beginning the Vav was cut, but under the Light of Torah, it stretched and my covenant was with him, life and peace together, and live in the Light of the King’s countenance.
Yehuda Leib