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Why People Remember Love Only on Their Deathbed

  • December 14, 2021
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  • 2 minute read
  • Michael Laitman
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I was told that before he died, Apple co-founder and CEO Steve Jobs wrote a letter where he reflected on life.

According to the letter, he wrote, “Treasure love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends. … God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone’s heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth. The wealth I have won in my life, I cannot bring with me. What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by love. That’s the true riches that will follow you, accompany you giving you strength and light to go on.”

Indeed, before a person dies, he begins to feel something of the truth. The approaching death makes him give up his ego and enables him to see the truth.

“Indeed, before a person dies, he begins to feel something of the truth. The approaching death makes him give up his ego and enables him to see the truth.”

There is a boundary between caring for oneself and emerging into an entirely different realm where there is overflowing love. The ego prevents us from finding it because it is always looking inward—at what I have and what I can gain, rather than at what is really out there. Therefore, when it steps aside, we realize what we have been missing all our lives: a world full of love that exists all around us.

The ego “dies” just before the person dies. Freed from its shackles, we can now realize that we have not really loved before and do not know what true love is. It is a sad moment of reckoning when we realize that all our lives we have thought only of ourselves.

“The ego “dies” just before the person dies. Freed from its shackles, we can now realize that we have not really loved before and do not know what true love is. It is a sad moment of reckoning when we realize that all our lives we have thought only of ourselves.”

There are those who advise people on their deathbed—and I have witnessed it myself—that in that state we should drink, smoke, enjoy ourselves and take as much as we can from life while we still can. This approach may be honest, but I do not think it brings happiness.

We must remember that the soul never stops evolving; it continues to develop even after a person’s physical demise. Therefore, realizing the true meaning of love, that love is not about feeling my own existence, but that I exist for the sake of others and that satisfying them makes me happy, that realization is priceless and eternal.

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Michael Laitman

Michael Laitman has a PhD in Philosophy and Kabbalah and an MS in Medical Bio-Cybernetics. He began his career as a promising young scientist, but his life took a sharp turn in 1974 when he immigrated to Israel. In Israel, Dr. Laitman worked for the Israeli Air Force for several years before becoming self-employed. In 1976, Laitman began his Kabbalah studies, and in 1979 he found Rav Baruch Shalom Halevi Ashlag (the RABASH), the first-born son and successor of Rav Yehuda Leib Halevi Ashlag, known as “Baal HaSulam” for his Sulam (Ladder) commentary on The Book of Zohar. Prof. Laitman was RABASH’s prime disciple until his teacher’s passing in 1991. After his demise, Laitman continued to write books and teach what he had learned from RABASH, passing on the methodology of Baal HaSulam. Dr. Laitman is the author of over 40 books, which have been translated into dozens of languages. He is a sought-after speaker and has written for or been interviewed by The New York Times, The Jerusalem Post, Huffington Post, Corriere della Sera, the Chicago Tribune, the Miami Herald, The Globe, RAI TV and Bloomberg TV, among others.

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