You are here: Kabbalah Library Home / Michael Laitman / Booklets / Relationships / Man and Woman

Man and Woman

Everything occurring in our world is the result of the Upper forces’ influence that descends to our world. In order to really understand what is happening, it is necessary to study the Upper forces, their attributes, predestination and purpose.

All the worlds are “parallel” to each other. That is, anything occurring in an upper world then takes place in the world beneath it, but it takes place in a specific change of form as a result of the difference in the “materials” of which the worlds are made. Spiritual worlds are made of spiritual material or altruistic desire, and our world is made of egoistic desire.

The entire universe consists of two components: the Creator and the creation He created. The Creator is the One Who Creates, the Bestowing One, the Upper and Determining One. Creation is the receiver, the lower and the subordinate. However, this understanding of creation is incomplete and even mistaken. The reason for this is that the Creator is perfect and absolutely all–mighty. He never thought to create a creation that submits to Him and He does not want to submit it to His desire as a slave. Rather, when He created creation he gave it every opportunity to rise to the highest level and to become equal to the Creator.

The Creator is not afraid of partnership or competition because He is absolutely perfect. To the degree that creation or man becomes perfect he acquires forces equal to the Creator, becoming equally mighty and creating in the same way the Creator does.

These possibilities for creation are not yet manifested in our world and we are toys in the hands of nature and the laws of creation because we ourselves are not yet able to direct the path of correction. Therefore it seems to us that creation differs from the Creator and that creation (the receiver) is lower than the giver!

However, even in our world the relationships between the sexes whereas the male part is “bestowing” and the female part is “receiving” are ambiguous. Even psychologists assert that everything men accomplish in this world, they accomplish only in order to ultimately assert themselves in the eyes of women. This way, with its seeming external weakness the women’s part compels the men’s part to work hard in order to win and throw what it has won to the woman’s feet.

Even in the animal world we see that males have to win the females or fight for them. The lion is much more beautiful than the lioness and the peacock’s tail is more voluptuous than his female. This is true for almost all creatures to such a degree that in many instances the male pays with his life to win the female’s favor.

It is necessary to ponder about the relationship between the sexes in order to fully understand that one has absolutely no advantage over the other, that they both achieve perfection only by completing each other. They accomplish this by satisfying the condition that each one fulfills its own function.

The Creator designed things this way precisely in order to give man the opportunity to transform himself into a bestower from a receiver, to equate his original level to the Creator’s level.

It may seem to us that the difference between the sexes is merely external and hormonal and that we can make a man into a woman in a purely medicinal way by using surgery and hormone replacement. However, the difference is much deeper and it lies in the very root of the universe, in our souls' roots. The difference comes from there and precisely we, men and women, have different types of souls.

Men and women’s souls come from different spiritual sources and therefore they incarnate into our world in such different creatures. All the differences between the sexes are caused precisely by souls, as well as differences in types and sub-types, classes and sub-classes of all creations.

A spiritual root clothes into a form of our world and it determines all attributes of that form, meaning all the attributes of our body and personality, everything that can possibly be said about each of us. Precisely the root of his soul determines each person’s differentiating signs from everyone else.

The difference in spiritual responsibilities, meaning the paths of men and women’s correction, comes precisely from the difference of their spiritual roots. It does not come from the fact that in our world we are slightly different from each other in our animal bodies according to our hormones and external features. Therefore feminists think that in principle there is no difference between man and woman and the sexes must be equal in everything.

However, everyone receives the same reward. It does not depend on whether a person was born a man or woman. It depends only on whether he or she has used all the opportunities given to him or her from above.

We can see that even in our world, despite everything, men and women have naturally different functions. Is there anything higher than the act of birth? It is an act equivalent to creation or equivalence to the Creator! Despite the fact that a man is valued for his ability to acquire things and bring them home and a woman for her ability to take care of the household, this division of functions does not interfere with our enjoyment due to mutual efforts. A man’s entire pride consists in the fact that he is able to bring something to a woman and give to her. He thinks that he wins her heart by doing this.

In order for a man of our world to correct himself he must achieve equivalence to the Partzuf Zeir Anpin of the World of Atzilut. In order for a woman in our world to correct herself she must only achieve equivalence to Malchut of the world of Atzilut. However, when they achieve their full correction, they both receive an equally full revelation of the Creator and the same attainment. The reason for this is that in the state of Full Correction, Zeir Anpin and Malchut are in the state of total union and they share the same light and the same attributes. They are unified together to the point of total dissolution in each other.

These states are described in “Song of Songs” and they reflect the full and eternal love between the Creator and His creation.

We are unquestionably witnessing progress in development of both the male and female souls, but it does not change their relationships with each other as well as the path of each part. The development of Zeir Anpin (the embodiment of the male part of creation) occurs from the spiritual object or the Partzuf Ima. The development of Malchut takes place from Ima but it does so through Zeir Anpin. Over the course of all history a woman has felt undeservingly belittled. This comes from the upper root. Zeir Anpin was created before Malchut as Adam before Hava (Eve). Zeir Anpin corrects Malchut. Only it can receive light from above and pass it on to her. In principle, women’s blame of men and the Creator comes from Kitrug Ayareyah” or “The Moon’s Complaints” on the 4th day of creation, when the moon complained to the Creator that it cannot be equal to the sun. In reply the Creator said: “Go and make yourself smaller”. In this case, by acquiring this state you will receive from Zeir Anpin. All of this is described in the Talmud of the Ten Sefirot. Hava was also told that her desire is for her husband and he will rule over you, and so on. We must understand all these upper roots and follow them, because they are optimally good. Hence, the only way we will find mutual balance and union with the Creator is by scrupulously following them, which is men and women’s Goal.

Question: Why does a woman expect care, love, stability and status from a man, while a man wants the satisfaction of animal necessities from a woman?

We can understand the attributes of the objects of our world and the essence of what is happening only by studying their inner natural attributes that come from their roots in the Upper world. Men’s root is the Partzuf Zeir Anpin of the World of Atzilut. Women’s root is the point in his Hazeh (chest). Without having learned the root the only thing we are able to do is endlessly generalize various data of these objects by investigating our world. According to the conclusions we make from this we will create general conclusions and theories and base our knowledge on them until we acquire such data about the studied objects that it will annihilate our current theory.

By accumulating new data we will create a newer theory. In the future, under the weight of new facts, the newer theory will also turn out to be incorrect. The reason for all this is that we are studying the data of our world, meaning the branches; and from this we want make conclusions about their root. This is what all sciences of our world do, thus they are all inauthentic in the upper world. Even in our world they constantly change their laws. We do not reveal the genuine laws of nature. We attribute laws to nature that supposedly exist in it according to our research and the generalization of acquired data. However, nature’s genuine laws act in it. Therefore I call on all of you, as the poet Choser wrote: “Drop your investigations and empty theories, and give us straight answers to the damn questions!” Let’s study the root and think about the branch last of all.

Question: How does the feminine part’s search in Kabbalah differ from the masculine part?

Malchut itself or creation is reflected in the woman. The attributes of Zeir Anpin or the Creator are manifested in the man relative to her. Therefore a woman’s main desire “to find a man that would be only mine, which would understand me, provide me with everything, and answer all my inner questions” comes from the spiritual root of Malchut. She does not want anything else.

Therefore if a woman receives the above, she perceives this as the greatest fulfillment or in other words – happiness. However, if the Creator wants to advance her forward, since she is also creation, then correspondingly she perceives an even greater emptiness with regard to these natural issues. Therefore it turns out that women in our world suffer from men, who do not want to give them the fulfillments they desire so much. That is, women are corrected, led and developed through men.

A man must become equivalent to the Creator in his development and spiritual work; that is, he must bestow. Therefore he is independent of women and searches on a higher level. At first he searches in development around him such as technology, business, art and science, and then Kabbalah. However, it is precisely Kabbalah that is more difficult for him to accept than for a woman, because for him it is much more difficult to clarify the fact that his fulfillment can come only from above. To him it seems to be located in everything in this world.

Man embodies bestowal or the Creator, and woman embodies the vessel that is planning to become corrected, that desires correction. This way, something from a woman’s animal nature as well as something that comes from spiritual nature participates here. In the Talmud, section Sota, it is said that a woman prefers one degree of fulfillment under her husband's rule to nine degrees of fulfillment in solidarity.

All souls in turn consist of the male and female parts because “the particular and general are equal. That which is present in the general is also present in each particular thing.” The difference is that the women’s soul includes the male part (as a part) and the male part includes the female part (as a part). The path of correction or methodology depends on this.

Why is the preliminary work different for women and men? Because for a woman’s soul, much less work is necessary in order to become corrected compared to a man’s soul. In order for a woman to enter the spiritual world she does not need to do the great amount of work a man must do. She does not have to study the Talmud of the Ten Sefirot and she does not have to study at 3 AM. If she studies on her own once a week or teaches someone else, then this is sufficient for her to enter the Upper world.

The difference between the effort men must make compared to what women must do is simply astounding. The result will be the same, because corresponding accumulations took place in previous incarnations in male and female souls. Moreover, their paths are also different afterwards. The souls begin to unify and reconnect only in the spiritual.

A woman’s soul is more corrected than a man’s. All problems come from men rather than from women. A man as well as a woman can be a Kabbalist. This depends only on a person’s desire. Everything is determined by the size of the effort one makes or the size of one’s desire.

Female souls come to this world in order to help male souls overcome this path and come closer to the spiritual. Therefore the correction of a woman’s soul consists in providing help. This is also true from a purely practical point of view. Women fulfill their role in this world even if they do not study Kabbalah, but the same is not true for men.

As a rule, women’s souls fulfill positive functions in any case, in contrast to men. If a man does not study Kabbalah then he advances only along the path of suffering. It does not matter whether a woman is married or not. Both a single and a married woman are able to pass the Machsom. A man, however, needs to be married because otherwise he will be unable to carry out many of his corrections. However, this does not matter for a woman.

Back to top
Site location tree