Life, Love & Family


Kabbalah & Relationships

Tips on how to build successful relationships based on the spiritual principles and understanding of our nature

Fairytale Love is Just That – a Fairytale

True love exist only in the spiritual world.


If you think that finding the love of fairytales will make you happy, think again. The love of fairytales isn't really love, but the use of others for self satisfaction.

What we normally call love is the egoistic satisfaction of one person by another, whether it's sexual satisfaction or any other kind of fulfillment we receive from another person. And clearly, this isn't love.

Then what is love? Love is when you don't pay any attention to yourself, but you take the desires of another person and try to fulfill them in exactly the way they would like. In other words, you turn yourself into a vessel of fulfillment for the other person. This is real love, and it exists only in the spiritual world. And there is no difference if it is a man or a woman - what's important are the desires, the soul.

In contrast, when we talk about love in this world, we are really talking about attraction and pleasure that are brought about by hormones. If we were to disconnect a person from his hormonal system, he wouldn't be able to feel "love." This again shows that what we usually think of as love is just an egoistic desire to enjoy. Sometimes this desire can even be cruel, desiring to receive fulfillment at the expense of another person.

Hence, the love we read about in fairytales is really an illusion, and does not exist in reality. It's because all of our desires are based only on the desire to fulfill ourselves. Even when we give something to others, we do so only because it gives us pleasure. Our action of giving is meaningless because what really matters to us while performing that action is what we feel.  

* Recommended: If, however, you're interested in fairy tales written in a Kabbalistic spirit, we have one book of these available from Kabbalah Books, called Miracles Can Happen.


Kabbalistic Texts Contain a Unique Quality that Ensures a Successful Partnership

Want to strengthen your relationship? Read Kabbalistic texts together!


There are special Kabbalistic texts that discuss partnership and togetherness. When a couple reads them together, this greatly reinforces their spiritual connection, bringing peace and harmony into their home.

When husband and wife spend 15 minutes a day reading Kabbalistic texts together, this brings a unique quality into their relationship that has the power to resolve all of the problems they have between them. It's because these texts contain great power.

Moreover, the only person to whom you can reveal all of your feelings - is your spouse. It is forbidden (impossible) to speak to anyone about your deepest feelings and your inner experiences on the spiritual path - with the exception of your spouse. In sharing their feelings, the husband and wife complement one another, and together they advance into spirituality.


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Today, It's Spiritual Relationship or No Relationship

Relationships without a spiritual connection cannot survive.


Today it is practically impossible for a man and a woman to maintain a good relationship over time, unless there is a spiritual connection between them. It's because their egos clash one against the other and destroy their connection. Today there are countless divorces, and most relationships fall apart, because our egos are "on fire," and they only grow bigger with time. The beautiful verse, "Man, woman, and the Divine Presence between them" - simply does not exist in such couples.

So what does it take to create that spiritual connection between them, the only thing that can remedy their relationship? Having a spiritual connection means that both partners know the reason for their existence - to embark on the spiritual journey and attain the spiritual goal of life. Then they will have something that truly connects them, they will be in a mutual "cell" together, and the verse "Man, woman, and the Divine Presence between them" will really come true. In other words, they will feel the revelation of the Divine Presence - the Creator.


The Woman’s Role in Maintaining a Good Relationship

By praising her man, a woman helps him develop and strengthens their relationship.


Today the divorce rate is astounding and most relationships are short-lived. Because of this, it is very important for people to find out how they can maintain a successful marriage.

In order for a woman to understand how to best fulfill her part of the relationship, she must understand the nature of a man. Then she will be wise and able to create a lasting and loving relationship.

But how can a woman come to understand a man's nature? After all, men and women are so different. In fact, the right understanding can come from the right actions. A woman should express her appreciation of her man, letting him know that he is special to her, that he is great - and doing this often! Then she will realize what he needs from her, and what kind of a connection there should be between them.

She will see that a man needs motherly care, praise, and admiration. Despite being masculine, big, and "macho," a man actually has a great need for sympathy. And if a woman gives this to him, he won't be able to leave her.

In fact, it's similar to how a woman acts with a child. She tells him, "You're wonderful, you did such a great job, you're big, you can do it, you're special, you're the most unique person in the entire world - you, you, you..." And this makes the man remain with her.

But most importantly, she should do this with love. A man desires to hear this all the time, because men really are like children, and they often see a woman as a mother. And even though this kind of a relationship may seem "imbalanced," it will become balanced out because it will make the man want to "rise up," to show how great he is. It will awaken his desire to become greater in a positive way, rather than in an overbearing, negative way.


The Spiritual Root of Cheating

Intermixing of male and female qualities at the spiritual level leads to cheating, betrayal and sexual deviations in our world.


Certainly, no one likes being cheated on. But as much as we'd like to write this unfortunate phenomenon off as "purely animalistic behavior," in fact there is a spiritual root behind it because every phenomenon in our world must also exist in the spiritual world. So what is this spiritual root or reason for our cheating? In Kabbalah, it's called "the breaking of the vessels."

This means that once, we were all united in one common soul, but then this common soul broke into many parts. This "breaking of the vessels" caused all the parts to become integrated in one other, and as a result, each broken part now contains a female part and a male part. Hence, the male parts contain female parts and vice versa. We even have each other's hormones!

This intermixing of our qualities is not only the cause of cheating and betrayal, but also of all the sexual deviations in our world, such as homosexuality and deviant sexual identity. And these phenomena are evident in our times more than ever before because we've arrived at the "lowest level" of discerning the breaking of the vessels.

The male and female parts do not see exactly how they should interact with one another. In the ideal, spiritual state, the male and female parts are positioned one against the other - the man opposite the woman. However, in our state - after the souls broke, descended and became intermixed with one another - each one took on qualities that belong to others. This is why we desire different kinds of pleasure from different sources.

However, if we rise above our search for these different pleasures and aspire for spiritual pleasure, then we will see who is our true partner on the spiritual path. This brings us to the famous verse, "Man, woman, and the Divine Presence between them." If one's greatest value in life is spirituality, then he (or she) will find the right partner in life, his "other half" who will be together with him on the spiritual path. And together, they will attain adhesion with the Creator.

In the meantime this may sound utopian because in our current reality it is difficult for us to see and understand how it can really happen. But as we continue advancing toward correction and spirituality, we will understand this more and build a good future filled with trust and loyalty.


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