The Right Education
Do not tell your children what to do - make them want to do it.
basic principle of the right education is actually very simple: parents should not
tell a child what to do, but only how to do it, if the child asks.
what happens until then? Parents should use their ingenuity to find alternative
ways to awaken in a child the desire to do what needs to be done. This way, the
desire for it will be child's own. This
is the right education.
is written that we should "educate the youth according to his way." This
means that not only parents but a child as well should clearly see where he is
going, and he should want it. Then he will accept education, he will demand it.
who pressure their children, who try to forcefully teach them certain
information or habits, raise a broken generation.
wisdom of Kabbalah, on the other hand, is against any kind of violence or
pressure. "There is no coercion in spirituality." No coercion means
that everything exists and is done only out of one's own will. What parents have
to do is to awaken that will.
problem is that no one is doing that and the whole education system is wrong.
Hence our task is to help parents understand this principle of Kabbalists - everything
stems from a person's free will and all we have to do is to help its free development.
My Child is Jealous, What should I Do?
Sibling jealousy is a natural reaction of egoism.
After the birth of a younger sibling, an older child often becomes bad-tempered. He hates a new baby, feels envy towards it, and even tries to hurt it.
This is a natural reaction of egoism. Parents
may try to explain to a younger child how they would like him to behave, but
it's impossible to demand a correct reaction from him. It's written, "Educate a
lad according to his path." This means that parents have to compensate their
elder child for his new position in the family, so that he feels that a good
attitude towards the newborn is advantageous for him.
When a younger child is born, a mother feels excited that the family has become
larger. An elder child should feel the same. How? For instance, he can receive
a present "from" a younger sibling. That is, a child should see that
a new baby allows him to derive something positive for his egoism. Otherwise
the elder sibling will hate the younger one, as he senses that his mother's attention
is switched to the baby, everyone takes care of it, and not him.
In previous generations, sibling jealousy probably wasn't so acute, because
people lived in more modest conditions, or elder children had more friends with
whom they could play and thus paid less attention to their younger siblings.
But today, parents need to fulfill the desires of the elder children, showing
them that they receive something good thanks to a newborn baby in the family.