There should be an agenda. Everyone should speak of the importance of the society, describing the profits he has from that society. What does he hope society will bring him, which he cannot obtain by himself, according to which he appreciates the society.
It is as our sages wrote, "One should always praise the Creator, and then pray." For if one asks for something of another, there should be two conditions:
- 1. He surely has what I ask of him.
- 2. That he has a kind heart, to bestow onto others.
After one believes in the greatness of the Creator, that He has pleasures and the will to give to the creatures, then he can pray to the Creator, who will help him, since He wishes to bestow. And it is in the Creator's hands to give him what his heart desires. Then, his prayer can be with confidence that the Creator will grant it.
Similarly, at the beginning of the assembly, we should set the importance of each of the friends. To the extent that we assume the greatness of the society, one can appreciate the society - and then pray: everyone should examine himself and see how much effort he is giving to the society. Then he sees that he is powerless to do anything for the society, and there is room for prayer to the Creator to help him, and give him strength and the desire to engage in love of others. Then, one should think his prayer has been answered, and he may sit with his friends and rejoice, as one body. Just as the body wishes for all its organs to enjoy, one also wants all the friends to rejoice.
Thus, after all the calculations, comes the time of joy and love of friends, when everyone feels happy, as though he had just sealed a very good deal, earning him lots of money. Hence, the dispersion of the assembly should be in a state of joy and elation.
"A time of Torah" - wholeness, no deficiencies, the right side, a gift.
"A time of prayer" - left side, deficiency, room for correction.
It is customary to give presents to a person one loves. And it is also customary to not love one who is deficient. Hence, at a "time of Torah," there is no room for thoughts of correction. When leaving the assembly, everyone will feel wholeness.
Questions to discern: How would you raise the importance of the society at your group's assembly? How should you feel when you leave the group's meetings?