Hanukkah Is Inside Us
A miracle is a connection that I don't understand between an action and a result; it is when my action suddenly causes a completely unlikely but great result. This is the meaning of the verse, "I labored and found." We have to make efforts during the studies and try to find everything that is being discussed inside us. But what we find will be completely unexpected, even though we talk about it and wait for it to happen. When we receive it, we will be shocked at how unable we were to correctly imagine this finding! That is why we call it a miracle.
What is the vessel of oil that I have to light up? It refers to qualities that I have to find inside myself. The oil is my will to enjoy. I have to understand how to light it, how to create a new wick in it using my efforts so the wick would come to the outside. The wick is my opposition to using my desire directly, to receive for my own sake; I want to use it in a manner equivalent to the Light. That is why I bring a wick out of the desire which includes a bit of my will to receive, but only as much as I am able to make similar to the Light and to cancel my egoism. I am ready to use it up for the sake of others.
For now I am only willing to bestow a thin, small wick. And I constantly have to check to make sure that I am not doing this for my own sake. I constantly think that I attained this, but it turns out that I did not. This happens over and over again because I constantly reveal new egoistic desires within me. That is how I gradually discern all of them until I finally create a wick inside me - a thin line (Kav Dak) of my desires, spanning from me to the Creator. The upper extreme or quality of this wick is similar to the Light, and that's why it lights up. And the darkness shines as Light.
If I can imagine this state within me, within my desires and qualities, that means I am already in it. This signifies the arrival of Hanukkah, the holiday of Light. A small candle ignites in me. Inside my enormous egoistic desire, there is a tiny part where bestowal lights up.
This part of the desire longs to enjoy together with the Light that is able to shine in it, and it is called my soul. It is very small for now, but as I continue to correct my huge desire, I gradually turn all of it to Light.
All of our spiritual work lies in finding all of these qualities inside us.
Now, I must tie this inner work with the external group as well, with the external people, with the external dissemination; if I identify it correctly, I will discover that they are inside of me too. The group is inside of me, the dissemination is inside of me, and the whole world is inside of me, and in fact it only seems to me that all of this is outside of me. This is the I and these are my qualities. Those parts purposely look strange to me, so that I will work in such a way against my ego, in order for my ego to be in front of me, as "help against him"─and describe the main and most important things in me, as if they were alien to me. And that is so that it will be clear to me how to work with them. Otherwise, if I were clear that all of this exists inside of me, I would not treat it this way─I would not have been able to hate myself. Whereas when it appears to me outside of me, I hate it.
Therefore the breakage that was done between us and caused us to feel our parts as alien to us, that caused us to hate one another, is very great help for us. Indeed what do I hate eventually? It seems to me that I hate the others, but I hate my will to receive, which appears to me as others. All we have to do is change this switch inside of us.