Bestowal Is Invisible but Infinitely Important
On the spiritual path I ask myself what seems like an insolvable question about how to overcome my evil inclination, egoism. Kabbalists tell you, "You have to try." Understand this: The Creator really is opposite to your nature; the quality of bestowal is extremely hateful to you; you cannot even think about love for the neighbor, not to mention its implementation.
So what should you do? Move gradually. Make actions that will bring you to the prayer. Resort to all possible means and tricks in order to nevertheless feel the importance of the quality of bestowal and to place it above the quality of reception. Even if it's repulsive to your nature, even if you feel that you don't want to bestow because you find bestowal very bitter to the taste, then at least with your mind you will nevertheless begin to value this quality for its height and greatness, for the fact that it is the quality of the Creator. It governs the world and it is respected by the environment which you have entered.
By using various tricks, you will evoke the Light that Reforms. In other words, by studying, working in the group, and disseminating, you will prepare your intention: "I want the influence of the Light. I want the Light, the force of bestowal that created my desire, meaning the force of reception, to influence me, to influence my desire, and to add the intention of bestowal to it."
You do not know exactly what you are asking for, but try it anyway. After all, you want to reveal the Creator, meaning the quality of bestowal. You want to feel the upper world, to live in the quality of bestowal. You want to reveal the common Kli, the common soul, meaning to live with the care for all the other desires, which will become revealed to you in the form of the system of the single soul. Gradually, thanks to the intention before and during the study, together with the friends you will reach something called a "miracle" and will begin to feel that more and more, you really do respect and value the quality of bestowal.
Suddenly, it becomes very important to you. It reigns in the whole world because bestowal does not have to be expressed. It is primary; in fact, it is the entire life force in all of reality. This quality supports the still level, raises the vegetative level, gives vital forces to the animate level, and gives man unity and connection with the Creator.
When this "miracle" happens to a person, he suddenly feels love and connection with that quality. A special feeling emerges inside of him in relation to the quality of bestowal. He is ready to receive from it everything that it wants to give, to do anything just to become similar to it and to give it pleasure. A person feels that he is able to do this and that he thereby brings goodness to the quality of bestowal, the Creator.
All of this happens inside of me under the influence of the Light. However, it only happens to the extent of my efforts, in conformity with their quality and quantity. Before studying, I prepare myself by asking: What am I studying for? Why am I opening up the book? The answer is that it's only in order to acquire the quality of bestowal, to reveal the force of bestowal, to reveal the Creator and merge with Him. In other words, it's in order to unite with the force of bestowal so it will rule inside of me, so it would turn into my intention above the desire.
That is how a person advances until the entire egoistic desire becomes revealed in him, whereas the force of bestowal will become an intention to him, the bestowing desire above the receiving desire. Then the receiving desire and the intention for the sake of bestowal will be together and a person will reach adhesion with the Creator.
That is how we realize ourselves correctly. It is written about this that "Israel carries out the Creator's will."
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 02/23/11, Writings of Rabash