The Light Is Inside Me, Not Outside
Question: Do I feel just my reaction to the Light and never the Light itself?
Dr. Laitman's Answer: That's right. "The Light" is my reaction to bestowal and I don't know where or from whom it comes from. The Light is what I feel within me; it is my desire to bestow, the impression inside my will to enjoy.
The same thing is true in our world: I don't know what causes my pleasure. I take a piece of cow, make a steak out of it, put it in my mouth, and enjoy it. Can you explain that? The cow is surprised, thinking: "I have half a ton of meat, so why don't I enjoy it?"
In other words, everything depends on the desire, not the fulfillment. The spiritual vessel is HaVaYaH (Yod, Hey, Vav, Hey) or desire, and the Light in it is designated by additional letters, meaning other desires. Yet, we use them to designate the Light, the desire. I never feel the "meat," but only my impressions of what I call "meat."