A Strong Connection Is Like a Shared Child
The connection between one person and another always contains a third component-the degree of their connection which is common to both of them. A connection can emerge only on the condition that there are two different things which vary by qualities or states. But if they are different, how can they unite?
On the other hand, if we are not different, then what kind of connection can we possibly talk about? The very word "connection" already implies that there is some opposition or difference between us. The connection is the third component, which includes something from the first and the second, and creates a bridge between them.
This third, intermediate link is formed by the inclusion of two opposite parts into one another so the second is present in the first, and the first-in the second. Then a third body emerges between them, which is similar to both.
This is apparent from the structure of Bina, which includes GAR and ZAT, and several additional, different parts inside which create "Tzelem"-the image of the upper one for the lower ones. This is not simple because an entire system gets created so the upper one could come to the lower one and build a certain degree of connection with him.
And the upper one must have a place that is suitable for raising the lower one, called a "womb" (Rechem). This place is intended specifically for the lower one, but on the other hand, it belongs to the body of the upper one.
All of the systems belonging to the connection between the upper one and the lower one by the rules of the second restriction (Tzimtzum Bet), according to which we live, have a very complex structure. They include special Partzufim called "hair" (Searot) and "garments" (Levushim). The inner Partzuf dresses into the outer one in order to connect with the lower Partzuf.
This is a very complex system, which is why in our world we do not know how to build the right connection between us. We cannot unite until we reveal every person's inner desire and become included in one anther. This is mutual guarantee. And until we get there, we won't know how to exist in one common system.
We have to understand one another and connect to such an extent that I will feel and accept the desires of everyone else as my own, and they will all accept my desires. Only then will we be able to connect.
If I am connected with everyone and they are all connected with me, then we connect through parts that became common to us. But we cannot connect through the parts in which we don't have something in common. There, every person remains on his own. That is why every person retains his own qualities and desires, which even include all of their egoistic forms. He becomes included in others and acts only within the part where he is able to create a connection with another person. These are the laws of connection.
From the 5th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 08/17/11, "The Nation"