Your Efforts Do Not Vanish into Thin Air
It is written, "There is none else besides Him," meaning, the upper Light is always at absolute rest and always influences us with goodness. But on the other hand, it is written, "The monster will swallow it and spew it out," and indeed, we see that no matter how many efforts we make, everything disappears. Months go by as we work, exerting in the intention to the best of our ability, but it all ends up useless.
Yet it's impossible for any action to exist in nature without bringing any result, whether good or bad. Of course, the result is always there and it does not disappear anywhere. The results just seem to disappear to us because the actions and thoughts of the past become forgotten, and at every moment I am like a new person.
But where is all of this saved? In our desire, at its very depth! If we make any action with our desire, intention, or effort, with all of the reality that is depicted to us by this desire, regardless of it being correct or not, then it no longer disappears.
Everything that any person or any element of creation does, any part of it - whether still, vegetative, animate, or human, according to its level - everything is swallowed inside of Malchut, the desire that exists in creation.
But if a person has the aspiration to attain bestowal, then his actions become special. Even if he acts for his own sake for now (Lo Lishma), he forgets that he has to give pleasure to the Creator and does not know when he will ever achieve this.
All of a person's actions (in the group, in his attitude to the study) are completely egoistic for now, and they are swallowed by the "impure force" (Klipa), meaning his egoistic desires in which he acted at that moment. His desires and thoughts were aimed at his own benefit, and the action turned out egoistic. Yet everything is preserved and nothing disappears. After all, a person nevertheless makes efforts in the state he was given, and he has to gradually grow.
And when he reaches a stage where the sum of the efforts he made, his attempts and the group that he organized for himself, produce a result, then all of his accumulations, which are preserved in the impure desires without his awareness, suddenly appear and come out in the form of corrected desires. Then he receives them and continues moving onwards with them.
This happens all the time, and it is a very important principle. We have to understand that every action is beneficial, even if it's egoistic. And all of our actions, which we make over many months, eventually gather together in order to suddenly become revealed.
And when at times a person manages to attain a slightly greater aspiration to bestowal, even one that is still "Lo Lishma," but is already closer to "Lishma," then he starts to gain a better understanding and sensation of the past. He realizes what he has gone through and what has happened to him.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 07/19/11, Shamati