Bitter Medicine Instead of Sweet Lies
The Light always brings me a sensation of the gap between the Light and the desires. It always gives me a bad sensation and it cannot bring me anything good. Firstly it always gives me a realization of evil, which is the truth. As much as I am able to ascend above the sensation of "bitter versus sweet" to the analysis of "true versus false" in order to clarify the truth in spite of the bitter taste, to that extent the Light is able to influence me.
But where will I get the strength to hold on to the truth so strongly even when I feel bad? I can only receive this additional force from the environment. Therefore it's pointless for us to cry out to the Light. The Light influences us to the degree we are ready for it. It can wait a thousand years until we are prepared by way of very slow, gradual development, or it can drastically increase its influence at every second if we are ready for it.
There is no delay from the Light's end. The delay depends only on how ready I am to tolerate the gap between the Kelim and the Lights, to be "above knowledge," above the bodily suffering, when I am ready to be in the truth even if it's bitter. Indeed, it really is bitter not to use the Kelim of reception, the desire for one's own sake, while remaining in the intention of bestowal.
Therefore, we do not have any other means to speed up our development other than to connect with the environment. However, connection with the environment is also extremely painful. I cannot overcome myself. I can spend thousands of hours pleading with my friends to unite, but it will all be nothing but words. After that I stumble across my inner wall and am unable to do anything more than words.
we at least try to do this together, then each person receives an impression
from the others and thus reaches the point of truth: that he is unable to do
this and must break precisely through this wall. Then he demands it from the
Light that Reforms.
From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/21/10, Talmud Eser Sefirot