Who Benefits From My Actions?
Question: What is bestowal for the sake of
Dr. Laitman's answer: Bestowal for the sake of bestowal is
when I don't feel pleasure as fulfillment of my personal desires, but when I
use it solely as fuel to fulfill the act of bestowal.
Question continued: How then does this fuel differ from
pleasure if the only thing that exists is the will to receive (Kli)
and its fulfillment (Light)?
Answer: If I am using the fuel solely to
accomplish my work in fulfilling the other, then my own fulfillment is just
fuel for me. If, however, I am using the fulfillment to please myself, it means
that I am receiving pleasure. Ask yourself: "What is my vehicle working for?
What underlies my actions? Who is the benefactor of my efforts?"
-from the 1st part of the Daily
Kabbalah Lesson 6/24/10
Our Task Is To Cling To The Upper One
Question: Who is our "Upper" in spirituality?
Dr. Laitman's Answer: We don't know that. We exist in the
womb of the Upper as a mere point, a droplet of semen, our spiritual Reshimo (record, gene). Beyond this Reshimo, we have nothing else!
In fact, our corporeal body, mind, and
feelings have no relation to the spiritual world and cannot be seen there. In
the spiritual world, there is only a womb of the Upper (Malchut of
Infinity) and us inside it. And each of us is a Reshimo (0/1, Shoresh
Aviut/Aleph Hitlabshut) or in other words, a point in the heart.
Our task as a point in the heart is to
try to cling to the wall of the spiritual womb! Beginning with the three days
during which the semen is absorbed, the first problem for the embryo (us) is to
attach itself to the wall of the womb. Attaching to the womb is establishing
the very first contact with the Upper One.
In order to do this, we must annul
ourselves before the Upper One. But where is this Upper One, this wall of the
womb? What is it exactly? The Upper One is the Kabbalistic group, my
environment! This is how the Upper One reveals the Creator for me.
Thus, there are the group and me, who
adhere to it, despite all the obstacles. I accept the entire force of the
group's desire for bestowal, and I am willing and ready to take it all in by
annulling myself before them.
When I attach myself to the group, my aviut (strength of my will to bestow), begins to grow and cause unpleasant sensations
in me: disappointment, growth of egoism, and burdening of the heart. However, I
must go even deeper inward, like a leech, clinging to the group, which is the
"wall of the womb."
Then between us, the first connection
will appear, not through a point, but by way of the tube through which "blood"
will start flowing into me. This connection, so far, is on the inanimate level
(dam-blood, from domem-inanimate), yet I have already
received spiritual sustenance from the Upper One.
All of this takes place through my
connection with the group. There is no other "wall" through which I can enter
the spiritual world!
-from the 3rd part of the Daily
Kabbalah Lesson 6/24/10