Desiring Only Spirituality
Over the course of our spiritual advancement, we experience different sensations through which we develop. In the end, that development leads us to the point where no matter what we feel or experience, the most important thing to us is spirituality.
The Creator sets us before pleasant and less pleasant situations, lifts us up then puts us down, turns us into a rag, shows us how much the nature He created is bad, causes us to feel shame and to suffer from that, etc. However, throughout this entire, unpleasant process in which the Creator presents us with situations that cause us to want to emerge from our ego, the individual must not let go of the only thing he desires, which is spiritual awareness. It is not at all important to him if that is accompanied by positive or negative sensations.
The speed at which the individual goes through the process of development depends on his intent while studying. That intent is built by the group, the teacher, and the study of the sources. If we set all of those factors properly and think about them throughout the day, we consolidate our preparation appropriately by which we emerge to spirituality. So, before, during, and after the lesson we need to be concerned only with our preparation, and that will greatly hasten the development.
Our only problem is that we don't gather all of these items together in order to constantly demand healing throughout the lesson.
Approaching the Lesson with the Intent of Healing
The substance of creation is the desire to receive and is irreversible. We must change our use of it, our intent - why or for what purpose we do any action, think thoughts, what it is we desire from each thing? We need to constantly ask ourselves "Why?"
The means we have been given in order to change our intent is the Kabbalah lesson. The lesson is a type of medical treatment we our administering to our will to receive, so it is able to change the desire. The more we are exposed to this treatment, the greater our chances of changing our nature.
But arriving for treatment, alone, is not enough. We need to know our purpose for coming and the precise change we need to make within us. We need to know how to approach this treatment - what it is exactly that we need to heal, what needs to change within us, and how to emerge from that treatment. The teacher may be excellent and the surroundings could be strong and good, but if I simply come to the lesson, they will not affect me. In order for the treatment to succeed, we must approach it with the sense that we are there to heal the soul.
Arriving to the lesson in that mode greatly depends on how we are guided to think of that healing and the extent to which the group members would like to heal and attain our mutual goal - correction of the soul - and the extent to which I am inspired by the guide and friends. In short, it all depends on our preparation.
Preparation for an action is called "Keter." Everything that follows will spread from Keter. Throughout the lesson, regardless of the wisdom I am studying, the analysis and synthesis of the lesson's topics, or the different questions heard, a single intent must accompany me - healing. Every word, every sentence, every question, every answer or discussion that might be heard during the lesson - it all has its place only if I wish to be healed by them. If that intent does not exist, there's no point in all of the questions, thoughts and attention, because they will be to no avail.
In order to succeed at that, we must become accustomed to carrying out all sorts of exercises. The entire time, two parallel thoughts should accompany us: What am I saying, asking, and doing at this moment? But alongside that, there needs to be a more internal thought: What do I desire from all of this? That inner thought must be my main concern. On the outside, I play the game of pretending to be interested in the lesson, as if I hear it. But I repeat to myself that the most important thing is the inner demand to heal. I must continuously scrutinize: Is the thought of healing the soul through the material I am studying, hearing, and discussing greater than the subject of the lesson itself? Otherwise it is considered, "His wisdom is greater than his actions."